Leonardo DiCaprio’s character in “The Quick and the Dead” once pondered if it was “possible to improve on perfection” after outdrawing a fellow duelist in the town square. I think about that quote often. Not just because it deserves placement in the pantheon over “are you not entertained?!” as an all-time cinematic swagger line, but because it’s applicable to my struggle with the Stanley Cup playoffs.
The NHL postseason is perfect. Four brutal rounds whose victor wins a battle of attrition, having earned the right to have their names forever etched onto sports’ holiest of grails. We can quibble about the details — they could call a few more penalties, especially in those marathon overtimes — but, functionally, the Stanley Cup playoffs are the greatest tournament in professional team sports.
But to answer Leo’s query: Yes, it’s possible to improve on perfection.
I’ve banged the drum for years on playoff expansion — it’s nonsensical to have half the league miss the postseason. But even if there isn’t an appetite for the kinds of play-in games from which the NBA and MLB are currently minting money, there are other ways to innovate the playoffs.
Like scrapping the conference format, for example. Granted, seeding teams 1-through-16 might be too radical for the NHL, and it doesn’t feed into the league’s stated desire to have as many rivalry matchups in the postseason as possible. I get that. But reseeding the final four teams, as the league did last season during its COVID-impacted realignment, makes too much sense. The teams were seeded by their standings points percentages, which gave the regular season extra credence. The reshuffling of the final four also allows for traditional and geographic rivals to play for the Stanley Cup — imagine those Detroit Red Wings vs. Colorado Avalanche blood-feud series with the Cup on the line, rather than the chance to play for it?
Alas, the NHL chose not to move ahead with “conference finals” reseeding. It’s East vs. West this postseason, once again.
Fret not, playoff progressives. Maybe our day will come. For now, we’ll just have to settle for watching this chaotic and hypnotic tournament captivate us for the next two months.
Here are 50 potential 2022 Stanley Cup Final matchups, organized into our hype tiers. With the Western Conference playoff seeds yet to be settled, we included any team that has a better than 50% chance of making the cut.
Let’s start with the DiCaprio of playoff tiers…
The five best matchups
1. Tampa Bay Lightning vs. Colorado Avalanche
The Lightning would attempt to become the first team to three-peat as Stanley Cup champion since the New York Islanders in 1984. The regular-season champion Avalanche, finally having broken through to the championship rounds, would sit four victories away from completing Nathan MacKinnon‘s Ahab-like quest for the Cup.
There are teams in the mix with higher casual fan Q-ratings, but few that have the talent and execution of these hockey titans. From stakes to gameplay, the best matchup on the table.
2. Toronto Maple Leafs vs. Edmonton Oilers
The Leafs seek to end the longest Stanley Cup drought in the NHL (53 seasons) only to find Connor McDavid and Leon Draisaitl carrying the hopes and dreams of 31 other fan bases that want Toronto’s misery extended in perpetuity. The co-main event: McDavid vs. Auston Matthews, two players entangled in a raging “best player in the world” debate, both seeking to raise the Cup for the first time — the Zoomer version of Gretzky vs. Lemieux.
Oh, and the winner becomes the first Canadian team to capture the Stanley Cup since 1993. That, too.
3. Boston Bruins vs. Vegas Golden Knights
Vegas has gone from the beloved Golden Misfits of their inaugural season run to the Stanley Cup Final to a team that many relish rooting against due to their hubristic approach to team building and cap management. That makes the dynamic in this matchup perfect: The only other time hockey fandom rallied behind the Bruins was in 2011 when, to put it in professional wrestling parlance, the Vancouver Canucks were such a heel that they turned a sports team from Boston into the fan favorites.
This matchup is fueled by two major storylines. The Bruins trying to win another Cup as their championship window narrows to the point of shuttering; and Jack Eichel, the last high-priced piece of Vegas’s championship puzzle, trying to prove doubters wrong in his first postseason ever. He grew up a Boston Bruins superfan. This will be worth it for the childhood photos alone.
4. Pittsburgh Penguins vs. Minnesota Wild
The Marc-Andre Fleury Show.
I think the emotional investment in The Flower extends beyond the emo feelings of Penguins fans, who would watch one of the most beloved players in their franchise’s history attempt to prevent his BFF Sidney Crosby from winning a fourth Stanley Cup. I think NHL fans, in general, wish Fleury well after the Vegas debacle and his brief stay in hockey purgatory, a.k.a. “Chicago.” Throw in the Wild, an entertaining team in its own right, attempting to win the first Stanley Cup in franchise history and you’ve got yourself a terrific matchup. And let’s skip the “Did you know Crosby attended Shattuck-St. Mary’s?!” vignettes.
5. Florida Panthers vs. Calgary Flames
Real ones know. On the surface, this is a matchup between an offensive juggernaut in the Panthers, a team whose 4.12 goals-per-game average would be the highest since the Penguins’ 4.41 GPG in 1995-96; and the West’s best defensive team in the Flames, with a 2.50 goals-against per game average backstopped by Vezina Trophy candidate Jacob Markstrom.
But this isn’t a total styles clash. It’s also the best offensive analytics team from the East vs. the best offensive analytics team from the West. Goals, physicality and personality make this an outstanding series — along with Joe Thornton, Claude Giroux and the entire Panthers franchise seeking their first Stanley Cup championships.
The personal heat tier
Boston Bruins vs. Edmonton Oilers
It’s been a while, but the thought of Taylor Hall raising the Stanley Cup on Edmonton ice is almost as enticing as theorizing what Brad Marchand‘s antagonism of choice would be against McDavid and Draisaitl.
Florida Panthers vs. Colorado Avalanche
In my head canon, Claude Giroux picked the Panthers over the Avalanche at the trade deadline. This is also a Final between two of the most overwhelming offensive teams in recent memory.
New York Rangers vs. Vegas Golden Knights
Coach Gerard Gallant prevents Vegas management and ownership from capturing the Stanley Cup while delivering one to the Rangers.
Pittsburgh Penguins vs. Colorado Avalanche
Not since Obi-Wan faced Anakin on Mustafar has there been a master vs. apprentice showdown like Sidney Crosby vs. Nathan MacKinnon for the Stanley Cup. Cole Harbour, Nova Scotia, would never be the same.
Tampa Bay Lightning vs. Nashville Predators
Maybe there’s some lingering animosity from the Stadium Series game in Nashville over who had the better pregame drip. Or maybe we just want to see the two most penalized teams (on average) in the NHL bring their particular brand of whimsy to the Stanley Cup Final as the Preds chase their first Stanley Cup and the Lightning seek their three-peat.
Toronto Maple Leafs vs. Vegas Golden Knights
There isn’t any pre-established rivalry between these two teams on the ice. But could you imagine the heat between the fan bases? Leafs faithful, praying that their 55-year nightmare will be over, having to hear about how Golden Knights fans consider themselves as “long-suffering?”
Washington Capitals vs. Minnesota Wild
Beyond the Alex Ovechkin vs. Kirill Kaprizov torch-passing narrative, watching Marc-Andre Fleury in another playoff series against the Capitals and Dean Evason coach against his former team would offer solid subplots.
The dynastic tier
Boston Bruins vs. Los Angeles Kings
Pittsburgh Penguins vs. Los Angeles Kings
Tampa Bay Lightning vs. St. Louis Blues
Washington Capitals vs. St. Louis Blues
All of these teams won Stanley Cups since 2009, with the Penguins capturing three of them and the Kings and Lightning winning twice. There are other possible combinations here that don’t really do it for me, but I’m here for that Penguins vs. Kings final. The core of that Los Angeles team seeks to match the Crosby Penguins’ Cup total save for Jeff Carter, who returns to L.A. wearing enemy colors.
The rerun tier
Boston Bruins vs. St. Louis Blues (2019)
Carolina Hurricanes vs. Edmonton Oilers (2006)
New York Rangers vs. Los Angeles Kings (2014)
Pittsburgh Penguins vs. Nashville Predators (2017)
Tampa Bay Lightning vs. Dallas Stars (2020)
Washington Capitals vs. Vegas Golden Knights (2018)
Aren’t you just salivating over a rematch of the 2006 Stanley Cup Final, which featured Carolina coach Rod Brind’Amour in his playing days, and Jordan Staal‘s older brother?
Reruns are usually never preferable to fresh content … but who among us hasn’t flipped through the channels and gotten sucked into a classic episode of “The Office” despite being able to quote the lines from memory? To that end: Bruins vs. Blues is “The Dinner Party” and Capitals vs. Golden Knights is “Scott’s Tots.”
The Cup drought tier
Florida Panthers vs. Minnesota Wild
Florida Panthers vs. Nashville Predators
New York Rangers vs. Edmonton Oilers
Toronto Maple Leafs vs. Calgary Flames
Toronto Maple Leafs vs. Colorado Avalanche
Since we can’t in good faith label a 2017 expansion team’s Cup-less existence as a “drought,” there are three teams in the field that have been waiting decades for their first sip from Stanley. The Panthers could meet the Wild and Predators for a first-timers’ club Cup Final. The Rangers haven’t won since snapping their 54-year drought in 1994. It’s been a while for the Oilers (1988) and Flames (1989) as well.
The Leafs are basically hockey’s answer to the Chicago Cubs at this point, so any Final they make will be centered around having not won since “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band” was released. The Flames would relish the chance to extend the Leafs’ drought and earn incalculable Canadian bragging rights. That Toronto vs. Colorado series lingered just outside of our Top 5 from earlier — it would be an absolute show.
McDavid vs. the world tier
Florida Panthers vs. Edmonton Oilers
Pittsburgh Penguins vs. Edmonton Oilers
Tampa Bay Lightning vs. Edmonton Oilers
Washington Capitals vs. Edmonton Oilers
That fact that Connor McDavid has played in eight postseason games since 2017 — including four in the “qualification round” bubble playoffs in 2020 — has been deleterious to the league’s marketing efforts. It’s like watching a master thespian crush it in community theater productions. He needs this stage, and we need him on this stage. Especially if it’s across the stage from Ovechkin or Crosby, or in an offensive track meet with the Panthers.
The casual fan tier
Boston Bruins vs. Colorado Avalanche
New York Rangers vs. Colorado Avalanche
New York Rangers vs. St. Louis Blues
Pittsburgh Penguins vs. St. Louis Blues
Pittsburgh Penguins vs. Vegas Golden Knights
Tampa Bay Lightning vs. Vegas Golden Knights
Washington Capitals vs. Colorado Avalanche
The fried food and sugary drinks collection of series. Familiar teams. Familiar names. Markets that move the needle for casual fans who otherwise couldn’t find Alberta on a map.
The hockey nerd tier
Boston Bruins vs. Calgary Flames
Boston Bruins vs. Minnesota Wild
Carolina Hurricanes vs. Calgary Flames
Carolina Hurricanes vs. Colorado Avalanche
Carolina Hurricanes vs. Nashville Predators
Carolina Hurricanes vs. St. Louis Blues
Carolina Hurricanes vs. Vegas Golden Knights
Florida Panthers vs. Dallas Stars
Florida Panthers vs. St. Louis Blues
Tampa Bay Lightning vs. Calgary Flames
Tampa Bay Lightning vs. Minnesota Wild
Toronto Maple Leafs vs. Minnesota Wild
Finally, the matchups for the die-hards, a.k.a. the Carolina Hurricanes tier. No disrespect intended to our friends in Raleigh, who have an engaging and charismatic team that may end up with the best record in the Eastern Conference. But they’re not the same “Bunch of Jerks” that captivated us under Justin Williams‘ tutelage, even as rapscallion as their social media can be at times. The casuals aren’t necessarily making time for a Carolina Cup Final — which would of course be their loss, as Sebastian Aho remains perilously underappreciated.
In my best possible world of no conference limitations, I think any combination of Boston, Tampa Bay, Calgary and Minnesota would make for an absolutely outstanding Cup Finals. Especially if it’s Boston vs. Tampa Bay or Calgary vs. Minnesota.
But not this postseason. Not until the NHL decides it can improve on perfection.
Jersey Fouls of the week
Two Calgary Flames-related Fouls this week. First up is this classic from Jen, a.k.a. NHL History Girl:
📷 what-fresh-hell-can-this-be: Calgary boys in Oilers jerseys. https://t.co/rQCoD3TMHH
— Jen (@NHLhistorygirl) April 5, 2022
That’s Bret “The Hitman” Hart with The British Bulldog (RIP) and the Slammy Award-winning Owen Hart (also RIP). Back in the “Attitude Era,” the Hart Foundation was a pro-Canada, anti-America faction that would play to the rabid fans on Canadian soil by rocking local hockey sweaters in the ring. In July 1997, for example, Bret cut a promo wearing an Edmonton Oilers jersey in Edmonton.
This is obviously confusing because Bret has been synonymous with that other Albertan team for quite a while. In fact, he was the founding owner of the WHL’s Calgary Hitmen, which is now owned by the Calgary Flames.
This appears to be a new category of Jersey Fouls: The Kayfabe Exception, in which it’s not a Foul if a professional entertainer is trying to emotionally manipulate the audience through their jersey choice. Besides, we have to allow it, lest we face the wrath of the “Excellence of Execution.”
Meanwhile, more recently in Calgary:
So I’m no hockey historian, but I don’t think Gretzky played for the Calgary Flames…@TheStanchion pic.twitter.com/eLfr6WSTgP
— Lorne Gardner (@ThatGuy72) March 20, 2022
This needs to be clarified once every few months: The NHL retired Wayne Gretzky’s No. 99 league-wide in 2000. No one else can wear it again. Therefore, The Great One’s name and number can appear on any jersey in the NHL and not be in violation of Jersey Foul rules. It’s the Gretzky Amendment and it impacts everyone — even the team that hated Gretzky the most.
Video of the week
Jay Beagle speaks on Friday night’s altercation. pic.twitter.com/LvqbfA95kE
— Bally Sports Arizona (@BALLYSPORTSAZ) April 3, 2022
There were four videos that came out of Arizona Coyotes forward Jay Beagle‘s attack on Troy Terry of the Anaheim Ducks on April 1.
There was video of the incident itself: With the Ducks up 5-0, Trevor Zegras jabbed at what he thought was a loose puck, took a cross-check from Beagle in response, and then Terry was pummeled by Beagle after stepping into the fracas. Terry suffered facial injuries as a result of the one-sided “fight.”
There was the video of Zegras calling out Beagle after the game, though not by name: “I think it’s embarrassing. I think it’s a bad look for the league and for the player that did it. It’s humiliating, and I think he should be f—ing punished.”
Then there was the video of Coyotes announcer Tyson Nash, who last played in the NHL during the 2005-06 season, who blamed the Ducks young star players for Terry’s injuries. “That’s the problem with these young players. You wanna embarrass guys? You wanna skill it up? You better be prepared to get punched in the mouth.”
Nash would clarify his comments in an audio interview with PHNX, taking a land excavator and digging an even deeper hole for himself while claiming that “smirking,” “celebrating” and “smiling at the other team’s bench” from the Ducks helped lead to Beagle popping off.
Then there was the video above, which was likely the least-viewed one. It’s Beagle himself, explaining his actions. To his credit, he shot down “the Ducks should smile less” as the catalyst for his attack. But if you watch it, there’s one recurring theme: “It was a 5-0 game.” The context for the goalie poke was as much a factor as the poke itself. Beagle felt the game was over, that the time for an aggressive play had long passed.
I think NHL culture continues to struggle with fighting’s place in the game, as it becomes rarer and more archaic with each passing season and each new wave of players. I don’t think Beagle’s response here was in balance with the act itself. It was petty and repellant, the result of professional embarrassment than anything else. And Troy Terry’s face shouldn’t be used as stress relief.
But one of the inherent parts of this inherently violent game is when players physically respond to incidents involving teammates. The New Jersey Devils had two such responses this week, as P.K. Subban and Yegor Sharangovich started fights in response to hard but legal hits — in Subban’s case, one that injured star Jack Hughes for the rest of the season.
“I think what P.K. did was the right thing to do. It’s what this league is about. It’s about teammates sticking up for teammates,” said Devils coach Lindy Ruff. “Sometimes you don’t even fight in those circumstances. It’s just being there for your teammate. If you want to build a team that grows together, scores together and fights together and looks after each other, some of that happens.”
One day, maybe the NHL will figure out when it should happen, and how emphatically.
Winners and losers of the week
Winner: Jonathan Huberdeau
The Florida Panthers have had some pretty good offensive players in their history, like Pavel Bure, Aleksander Barkov and Olli Jokinen. So it was a little surprising that Huberdeau became the franchise’s first 100-point scorer in a single season when he passed the century mark this week. Surprising, but wholly appropriate: There’s a chance Huberdeau ends up having one of the 10 best offensive seasons by a left wing in NHL history. Hopefully, a Hart Trophy nomination follows. (NHL Awards Watch drops here on Friday, and it’s a must-read.)
Loser: Cardiovascular health of Panthers fans
Heading into Tuesday night, there were only two teams in NHL history to have multiple four-goal comeback wins in a single season: The 1983-84 Oilers and 2019-20 Panthers each had two of them. The 2021-22 Panthers joined them with their win over the Toronto Maple Leafs. They have a .417 winning percentage when trailing after two periods, which would be the second-highest in the last 30 years. Deep breaths, Florida fans.
Winner: AHL
Kudos to the American Hockey League for dropping an eight-game suspension on Rochester Americans forward Ben Holmstrom for what the league said was the use of “homophobic language” in a game against Utica on March 30. We often talk about using supplemental discipline as a way to send a message to potential offenders. Hopefully the message is now clear: “The American Hockey League is committed to building a culture that is safe, inclusive, and free from abuse, harassment and all forms of unethical behavior or misconduct.” And hopefully the message from the NHL can be just as clear on these matters.
Loser: Censure-ship
I agree with this take from Pat Maroon of the Tampa Bay Lightning: Trash talking and chirping is as much a part of this game as sticks and ice. As long as it doesn’t traffic in racism, sexism, anti-gay language and other understandably verboten areas. So to see Maroon and Wayne Simmonds get misconduct penalties for chirping at the bench — Maroon allegedly told Simmonds that he won’t be in the league next year — is the epitome of fun-policing. (Even worse: The ref allegedly said it was because the taunting was “bad for TV,” as if the NHL doesn’t build entire series around such candor.)
Winner: Ryan Getzlaf
There are only 12 players in NHL history who have captained the same team for 10 years and scored 1,000 points. One of them is Ryan Getzlaf, who announced his retirement this week, having spent his entire career with the Anaheim Ducks. I’m not sure he’s a Hall of Famer — compared to centers from his era, he’s on the borderline — but he’s an all-timer in that franchise’s history.
Puck headlines
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I did not have “Brendan Gallagher, Paragon of Virtue” on my BINGO card, but the Canadiens forward took Tim Stützle to task for what he believed was constant embellishment. “More than half the games we’ve played against him, he’s laid on the ice and he’s right back out there next shift. He lays on the ice. He acts like he’s hurt. He sells the call. He’s on the ice that same power play. You know, there’s kids watching. We’re role models. If I was a teammate of his, I’d tell him to smarten up. It’s just not a good look. Very talented player, very good player. He needs to stop laying on the ice. It’s embarrassing.”
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The top NHL prospects in the Frozen Four. I’m in Boston for the event, and I think it’s going to be one we look back on with wide eyes at the amount of NHL talent in these games.
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Dan Robson on the emotional aftermath that’s still ongoing after the tragic Humboldt Broncos crash.
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Interesting look at how the mainstream media covers women’s hockey. “Mainstream media were at the PWHPA showcase this past weekend. They just weren’t there to talk about the hockey or even to the players playing. Instead, they widen the gap — purposefully or not — between the stars of the national team and the players who would make up the majority of any professional league no matter what the acronym is.”
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Loved this from Marisa Ingemi: How Colorblind NHL Players See The Game.
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Defending the virtue of the Toronto Maple Leafs team defense.
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Johnny Gaudreau is going to get paid this summer. “This year, nobody is even close to matching Gaudreau’s production at even strength.”
From your friends at ESPN
Some Stanley Cup winner futures betting from my Monday wagering column.